The Accidental Olympian

WHY DO SOME WORK WHERE OTHERS FAIL?

As most anyone on the internet already knows, a few weeks ago Heather Armstrong (Dooce) announced that her marriage of ten plus years to her husband John (Blurb) was dissolving. I'm sure most people read these words and felt sadness for the pain Heather and her family were wading through, and most then promptly moved on.

Strangely the dissolving of the Dooce-Blurb marriage has stayed with me.

Without realizing it each and every one of us sort of falls in love with the bloggers we chose to spend our time reading. Bloggers are classically oversharers, and before we realize it we feel we intimately know these people behind the computer screen. Possibly as well as we know our own real life friends. We've been with them through good times, sharing adorable pictures of their children/vacations/puppies/latest meal, but we've also sent them words of encouragement and love when they've been brave enough to open up about times that have been incredibly painful.  

There is no perfect marriage, this I know. But I do think there are marriages that are better than others. Marriages that are open, honest, where two people work through the crap that makes us human to continue to grow in their relationship.

I always viewed Dooce and Blurb as having one of those marriages.

They were open about the fact that they had to work hard on their marriage at times. They admitted it took patience, support and a lot of effort to make it through the difficult spots. And even when it sucked they kept on working. They were committed no matter what.

I admired the ability they seemed to posses to not give up on one another.

As a product of an intact marriage (26+ years) divorce scares me. Terrifies me really.

I've never experienced the pain of hearing my parents tell me they're separating. I've never had to split my holidays. I've never had to deal with the questions of, "What went wrong?" I've never had to meet one of my parent's new partners.

For this I'm grateful.

But I live in this world. I see how many marriages fail. And I don't know what makes one survive, and another crumble.

I always assumed the key to keeping the marriage together was to be a Dooce and Blurb. To fight to stay together through good and bad, always remembering the reason you came together in the first place.

And yet, now another example of how to do things right is no longer.

I find this frightens me. 

Adam and I both come from intact marriages. We've never felt the sting of divorce, we only know how to continue on.

But does that mean we're strong enough to never give up?

Will we be as lucky?

Or will we fail as well?

And yet, the exact minute the idea of marriage seems to be so broken, so unattainable, another blogger shares a story of their own marriage and I think, "People still make this work.  It's not all broken. My journey will be my own."

 

STELLANATER, 1 YEAR LATER

We met Stella, originally named "Dolly" for the very first time on Sunday, January 23^rd, 2011. You see, Adam and I had been talking about getting a second dog pretty much since Oly was about 6 months old, but we'd yet to muster the courage to pull the trigger on another dog. Especially if we were unlucky enough to pick another dog with the energy Oly possessed. The idea of two Oly's terrified us for a number of years.

Adam wanted a bigger dog for dog number two, and we only made it to one meet-and-greet with the breed of his choice. It was the only time I've ever seen Oly HATE another dog. Then we went on vacation for our yearly January trip to visit my parents, and randomly one afternoon while on vacation I checked Facebook to see that Tori had adopted a new puppy.

OMG THIS PUPPY.

Before I knew it, I WANTED A PUPPY TOO. NOW!

I jumped on PetFinder, went right to the no-kill shelter we adopted Oly from, and there they were.

Nine of the cutest damn mutts you ever did see.

Black, white and brown spotted, all white, white and tan, and one mix of everything.

Since I already dealt with more yellow fur than I knew what to do with via Oly, I thought it was best to stay in the white/tan world, and inquired about the two mildly golden retriever looking pups.

They had already been adopted.

The only one left was a brown and white puppy. Were we interested?

 

 

I won't lie to you. I stiff armed the fuck out of Adam for Stella. He didn't want a second dog right at this moment, and he most definitely didn't want a 'whatever the hell mix' she was either. But he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

We met Stella that Sunday to check to make sure Oly didn't hate her, and I remember that when we walked in the room and Stella bounded over I was DONE. In the car on the way home I asked Adam what he thought, and he actually said, "Did you notice how when she saw us she did that whole submissive peeing thing? I'm not sure I like the idea of a dog that pees uncontrollably." I told him it was just a puppy thing, she was fine.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

If we even knew!

As some of you know, not three days after we adopted her we were in the vet's office wondering why it was that our adorable little puppy seemed to be constantly leaking pee. Awake or asleep. The vet, who was trying to win an award for "Most Compassionate Vet EVER" suggested we put her down. Since we'd only owned her for three days and all. I'm sure we weren't attached or anything.

I have never sobbed so hard as I drove home from the vet with this sleeping puppy in my lap. But I knew that I wasn't giving up on her, I couldn't, it wasn't in my nature to walk away because something seemed hard.

And it was hard.

Life with Stella this first year has been a roller coaster. There was a point in time where I had Stella in diapers 80% of the time, where most of my house was covered in towels and blankets, where I was setting alarms at 10:30, 12am, 2am and 4am so I could wake her up, change her towels, and take her to the bathroom. Stella was unable to tell she needed to go, and was incapable of waking us up to ask to be let out of her crate for a bathroom break. Because Stella would uncontrollably lose her bladder out of excitement as well, in the mornings I would close Oly in our CLOSET so I could rush Stella to the bathroom before she spotted Oly, her best friend in the world who would make her instantly lose her bladder all over my carpets. On our road trip to Alaska there were more mornings than I'd like to admit where I had to hold a hotel towel between Stella's legs to catch an accident, because we weren't making it out of the hotel for our bathroom break. Yes. I did that.

There have been tests, tests, and more expensive test. There was controlled water intake, medications, weird schedules, and times where Stella had to go wherever we went because she could needed to go out at least once an hour.

But now? All these months later?

Now she's just Stella.

We finally found a medication that works. Ok, two medications that work together, but whatever, we did it. Her water doesn't need to be monitored. She no longer needs to go out every hour. My home is not covered in towels and blankets. Oly no longer has to be locked in the closet in the morning so Stella can be rushed out the door before she has an accident.

For her incontinence Stella takes one pill and an eye dropper of medication twice a day, and for her bad hips (yes, at 1 year old), a squirt of fish oil twice a day plus a vitamin once a day.

She is my blind in one eye, anxious, hater of hardwoods, tail chasing, "roooo-roooo-ing," NON-snuggling, snow loving, bad hip wielding, diabetes surviving, best trail dog ever, Stella.

And I wouldn't trade her for anything. 

 

WINTER IN ALASKA -- & WHY WE PUT UP WITH NEGATIVE 20 DEGREE WEATHER

THE INTERNET IS A MAGICAL & WONDERFUL PLACE

Why you ask? 

Because turns out when you make friends with people on the internet they will sometimes send you things. Awesome things that make you so happy to say you "online know" these people! 

Case in point? 

Jen of One Wandering  (one of my first internet friends!) sent me these in the mail. Just because. 

People, she sent me a tiny stuffed moose and a cookie cutter set that includes a MOOSE COOKIE! Can we say, "Internet friend for the win?" 

At this rate I'm going to end up a crazy o'l moose lady. 

And I love it. 

Continuing with my, "How did I get so lucky to e-know these people" theme, this holiday season I received one of the sweetest homemade items EVER from my friend Ashley of Love. Home. Made. In reality I actually became friends with Ashley in real life first, but I did inspire her to start blogging thereby giving our friendship a layer of online friendship on top of our real friendship. So speaking of her blog, she runs an amazing online space where she is capable of turning garage sale finds into the cutest shit you've ever seen in your life. 

And I've stayed in her house so I know these projects actually look as good if not better in person. 

That being said, feast your eyes on the sweetest handmade gift, ever. 

Within this frame you'll find the four places I've lived in my life. 

Santa Barbara, CA -- Where I grew up

Seattle, WA  -- Where I went to school (and met Ashley!) 

Olympia, WA -- Where Adam and I bought our first house and this blog started. And...

Anchorage, AK  -- My current home.

 

SHE MADE THIS FOR ME. Just because. And then she blogged about how she made it and I felt even more grateful seeing how hard it was to cut those damn states out. 

For about two weeks it sat on my kitchen counter (before heading to its home in my office) because I thought it was simply the sweetest thing anyone had done for me in quite a long time. 

All this is to say is that after a sort of rough end to 2011 what with the baby mental breakdown and upping my medication, it seems in the end I actually ended things on a high note. Surrounded by both physically and Internet-ly (making up words here people) supportive people, reaffirming my belief that no matter what, everything will be a-ok. 

I'm a lucky biatch I tell ya. 

 

2011 RESOLUTION #2 -- PAY OFF YOUR DEBT, WOMAN

SO, with the whole book resolution out of the way, the second resolution I made was to pay off my credit card by the end of 2011. 

Yeah…

The thing is, I was so there. I was on point to pay off my credit card with a final payment on Dec 31st, 2011. I was making the equivalent of a really fucking expensive car payment TWICE a month and I was taking that card DOWN.

Then winter happened.

Suddenly I needed snow boots.

Snow pants.

Beanies.

Gloves.

Cross-Country Skis.

WINTER TIRES. 

Thermal underwear.

Oly's snow boots.

On and on and on until I looked at my credit card and didn't even remember what it had been a mere month ago. Suddenly all my progress and growth was gone and I was nearly back to where I started.

It was demoralizing to say the least, to feel so close to your goal, and then to destroy it in about a month. The right thing would have been to force myself not to buy unless I had the money in savings. But hi, when you only have five and a half hours of sunlight for your WHOLE DAY you're going to just buy the damn cross-country skis no matter if you saved or not because staying inside all winter in the dark while you wait for your savings account to grow is NOT AN OPTION.

You can't simply NOT buy snow boots when there's 12 inches of new snow overnight, and turns out negative 6 degree weather is fucking cold as shit and requires the right clothing to live in it. Expensive clothing apparently. But oh well.

I know when I over explain why I fell off the debt reduction wagon it's only for my own ears. Reformation to myself that my purchases were things I needed to get through the winter, things I won't have to re-buy next winter, trying to tell myself it's ok I failed at this goal.

So, 2012 is a new year. I have another plan in place for my debt, a less extreme pay off plan, but a plan none the less, because when I look at 2012 I have things like TWO weddings to attend, TWO families coming to Alaska this summer for 3+ weeks each, charter fishing trips already booked, hikes I want to take, towns in Alaska I want to see, and I can't let the fact that I want to pay down my debt keep me from living.

So I guess this year my resolution is to live. And enjoy. Be happy and experience as much as I can. While also reading 30+ books and attempting to live within my means.

Works for me.